This week I was listening to the Pardon My Take podcast and they had Brian Scalabrine on as a guest. He was promoting the Big 3 league. He was talking about being a ginger athlete (ginga if you do not have red hair. No hard “r” for you non-gingers). This gave me an excellent blog idea, top 10 ginger athletes ranked. I thought this was a great original idea. I googled red-haired athletes and found other sites had done this idea. In fact, Bleacher report did this post twice in 2012 within four months. I decided to go with my idea and not click on their link as to keep this as original as possible. You can google theirs if you want.
Gingers are not known for their athletic prowess. I can back this up first hand. I’m not going to lie, it was not easy to come up with this list but I was able to think of some. Also, keep reading after the list as there are some honorable mentions. Let’s get to the list!
9. Mike Macdougal – MLB relief pitcher
Okay, so I couldn’t think of 10 ginger athletes. Sue me. When you are reaching for relief pitchers that were on your fantasy baseball team in 2006, you know it is not looking good for ginger athletes. Let’s take a minute to discuss why Macdougal makes this list. He played 12 years in the show. That’s no joke. Shit, he even made an all-star team in 03. Considering baseball is a summer sport, the pants and hat probably allowed him to play more than 2 years pro.
8. Lita – Big time wrasslin
Back in 1998 women’s wrestling was bra and panties matches, nightgown matches, mud matches, etc. (not complaining). But Lita actually had the moves to compete with they boyz, the Hardy Boyz. Lita put on moves against the male wrestlers that I would not even attempt in a swimming pool let alone a wrestling ring. Lita won the WWF women’s title 4 times and without a is a cornerstone of what the women’s division is today. Check out some of her moves.
7. The guy on the Dodgers who looks like Tjorborn – MLB
This soulless red-haired guy recently won the NLCS MVP and almost became a World Champ but was upset by Jose Altuve and the Astros. Gingers do not win MVP’s unless you are a manager in Procter and Gamble’s sunscreen business unit. Along with that, he did make it to an all-star game in 2017.
6. Brian Scalabrine – NBA 11-year vet and Finals MVP.
The NBA is dominated by black players. For a white guy to come in and hold his own for 11 years would be impressive. For a ginger, it’s a god damned miracle. The White Mamba, aka the great White hype set the bar extremely high for what a ginger can do….as long as they grow up to be 6’10”.
5. Alexi Lalas – Soccer player
I was hesitant to put Lexi hear because I was borderline thinking soccer didn’t have enough black players, but I went against Hope Solo’s judgment and added him to the list. I know there are probably other famous American soccer players, but in my book there are three: 1. Lexi lalas, Landon Donovan, and Freddie Adu.
4. Blake Griffin – NBA All-Star and slam dunk champion
For many of the reasons listed above with the White Mamba, Blake has to be on this list. His athletic ability alone gets him on this list. I know what you are thinking, he is half black right? If he only had red hair, he would be an honorable mention, but he has the freckles too. God damn it, he is a Ginger. Winning the dunk contest is probably the single greatest athletic achievement a ginger will ever achieve.
3. Andy Dalton – NFL Starting quarterback and 3x Probowl Alternate
The Red Rocket comes in at no. 3 on the list. You may argue that Blake Griffin is a superior athlete compared to Dalton, but do not forget that Quarterback is the most import position in all of sport. Nobody gets paid and nobody gets laid like the starting quarterback (Mid-level NBA players get paid way more than quarterbacks). Entering year 8 of his career, he looks to go places no other ginger has gone before.
2. The Undertaker – WWE Champion
It was hard to find a picture of the Undertaker with red hair that I could post without being sued. The deadman is indeed a ginger, further proving that gingers do not have souls. Originally the undertaker Debuted as Texas Red because of his long red hair. Now that we got his ginger cred out of the way, let’s talk about accomplishments.
- 17 time champ and 7 time WWE World Champion per wikipedia
- Won 21 straight years at Wrestlemania
- Won the greatest wrestling match of all time (Hell in a Cell in 1998)
- Paul Bearer picked him to manage
1. Bill Walton – NBA Hall of Famer, NBA Champ, NCAA Champ
As far as I know, Bill Walton is the only ginger to make the NBA hall of famer. There may be a couple of guys born in the 40’s and 50’s, but they do not count. Not only is Walton a hall of famer, but he also won league MVP. A ginger won an NBA MVP!!! He also won two NBA championships, something Dan Marino has never done. Along with that, he was a 3X NCAA player of the year. Do you know how many people play NCAA basketball? He beat them all!
People who were in sports that didn’t qualify for this list
Dale Earnhardt Jr
Although he was the face of NASCAR for a few years, let’s face it, it is only white guys and Aaron Rodger’s girlfriend who participate in motorsports. There are no inner-city kids from Compton who are dreaming about racing at ‘Tona.
Shaun White may actually be the most accomplished ginger athlete of all time if you consider all of the Olympic gold medals and X-game golds. Similar to NASCAR, no way in hell was Allen Iverson ever considering hanging out at ski resorts with a snowboard.
People who didn’t make the list, because I can’t tell if they are gingers